


Babies are Brilliant

by mm8



Category: Cabin Pressure
Genre: Baby, Comment Fic, Community: comment_fic, Community: trope_bingo, Fainting, Gen, Happy Ending, Humor, Workplace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-29
Updated: 2013-04-29
Packaged: 2017-12-09 22:30:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/778709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mm8/pseuds/mm8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Someone leaves a baby on board GERTI.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Babies are Brilliant

"Thank you for flying MJN Air. Thank you for flying MJN Air. Thank you flying—" Oh, he'd done it again. Saying goodbye to no one. Arthur smiles and shrugs. At least the flight to Philadelphia had been uneventful. No arguments between Mum and the passengers and Arthur hadn't accidentally killed anyone. He had gotten to do a bit of Passenger Derby commentary as well; that had been interesting. Martin had bet on the middle aged lady who smelled a bit like salmon and sat by herself in the first row while Douglas had bet on the goth teenage boy with too many piercings. And neither of them had won! It had been the nice, friendly gentleman that resembled Captain Haddock from _Tintin_ , who Arthur had chatted with briefly about bears before they took off. Arthur had never seen anyone bulldoze their way to the loo so fiercely before! That was a Passenger Derby for the books… if Passenger Derbies had books. That might be a corker of an idea.

Arthur glances around the corner to see if his Mum is anywhere in sight. He can see her yelling at Douglas and Martin in the galley, their muffled voices carrying only slightly through the closed door. He didn't know why Mum was so angry; it'd been a smooth flight. Well, if you didn't count the Passenger Derby, or that Martin landed with the brakes on again, or that… well… Arthur smiles. Okay maybe it wasn't that smooth of a flight after all, but it still was brilliant.

Seeing that the coast is clear, he starts tip-toeing out of GERTI and out into the jetbridge. He's a ninja. Stealthy, quiet, just like an assassin! Not that he'd want to kill anyone, of course. But ninjas were very cool, with their outfits and throwing—

"Arthur!" Mum bellows. "What are you doing?!"

He stops mid karate chop and stares back at her blankly. "Um, yeah Mum?"

"Why aren't you cleaning up?" Her hands are on her hips, her mouth in a thin line. Clearly she is not in the mood.

"Oh, but Mum," he begs. "I want to go to Ew Bonnie Pane."

Mum shuts her eyes for a moment and expels a breath. "Arthur, dear. Do you mean _Au Bon Pain_?" She enunciates the words in perfect French.

"Yeah!" he laughs cheerfully. "Can I go, Mum? It's so good and you feel like you're really in France!"

Mum's anger disappears for a split second, replaced by bemusement. "What? No, Arthur, you've been to France. Countless times. That café is nothing like the ones in France."

"It is a bit." He pauses. "So can I go now?"

" _No_. You have duties, Arthur. I expect you to do your work even if," Mum raises her voice and leans her head back toward the galley. "Some lazy pilots I know _won't_."

From behind her in the galley, Arthur hears Douglas scoff and mumble something, and Martin reacts by spewing out the coffee he had just taken a sip of and curses as he quickly grabs some towels and dries his uniform and the counters.

Arthur raises an eyebrow and frowns. "Mum, did something happen that I don't know about?"

She shoots him a glare. "Nothing, Arthur, nothing. Do your checks!" She turns around, slamming the door behind her, although it does almost nothing to block out her shouting

He sighs and slowly begins to walk down the aisle, picking up bits of trash that the passengers left behind and putting the magazines and emergency landing manuals back in place. 

He finds it in the third to last row. It looks like a toy. This wouldn't be the first time a child left their toy on GERTI. Sometimes, the kid's parent comes back frantically searching for the lost toy and is incredibly grateful when it is returned. However, what usually happens is that no one comes to claim the lost teddy bear or doll and Arthur gets to keep it and give it to Snoopadoop if it is not too grimy or drooled on. 

But this toy is very life-like. He's never seen one so real that it even breathes. He's never seen a baby doll that comes with its own car seat before either. 

As he goes to pick the baby doll up, and the doll's eyes pop open and gaze around with no real sense of direction. The baby gives a little sniffle and snot rolls down from its tiny nose. It gives a tiny cough and opens its mouth revealing pink gums and a tongue. It begins to fidget about, freeing its arms from inside the knitted blanket and waving them around.

Dolls can be pretty realistic nowadays but they can't be _this_ life-like. That only means—

But who would leave their baby on an aeroplane? Did they abandon it? Why would anyone want to give up this cute little baby? There's too many questions swirling through the steward's head.

Arthur frowns. He picks up the baby of the car seat and maneuvers it in his arms like he's seen mothers on TV hold their babies. He begins to rock it back and forth and hums a lullaby that Mum used to sing to him when he was little. Maybe he should sing the song instead? It sounds better that way. That way the baby knows the words too.

At that moment, the baby opens its mouth and _screams_.

Mum rushes into the cabin, followed by Douglas and Martin, who are covering their ears. "Arthur, will you please—!" Mum stops dead in her tracks when she sees what is in her son's arms. "Oh dear God. Where did you get that?"

"It's a baby!" The grin on Arthur's face is so wide he feels like he's splitting his face in half. "Where do you reckon it came from, Mum?"

"Oh good lord," Douglas smirks. "You did tell him about the birds and the bees, didn't you, Carolyn?"

"A _baby_!" Martin paces back and forth in the cramped space. His breath is erratic, his hands waving wildly in the air. "Oh God, what are we going to do? A baby! Who leaves a baby on a plane? This isn't _Home Alone_. What are the proper procedures? They never tell you what to do for something like this! Oh God! Oh God!" He leans against the back of a passenger seat and wheezes, his voice doing the funny 'uuh' thing he does when he panics. All of a sudden, Martin freezes and falls over, in a dead faint.

Mum sighs, scrubbing her face. "God, you'd think he's half fainting goat."

Arthur makes kissy faces at the small infant and suddenly the child begins to chortle. "See Mum? It likes me! I think I'm going to name her—"

"No! No naming!" Mum protests.

"It's a _she_ now?" Douglas inquires, not at all trying to hide his smile.

"Baby-Bugga-Boo!" Arthur declares. He tickles Baby-Bugga-Boo's cheeks and she chortles. "See? She loves me, Mum!"

"She _loves_ him, Carolyn." Douglas says sarcastically. "And he's _named_ her too. You can't pry the girl from him now." 

Mum puckers her lips and squeezes her eyes shut. "Douglas, call the airport authorities and let them know what's happened."

"But—" Arthur and Douglas cry together.

"No buts! Douglas, go—"

"Let me through!"

They all turn towards the jetway where the commotion is coming from. 

"I don't care if I'm not allowed back on the plane!" a frantic woman cries out. "My idiot son left my baby on that plane! When we get home you are more than grounded; you are _dead_! And you're taking all of your ugly piercings out. I don't know why—"

"But Mum," someone, presumably the son with too many piercings whines. "That's not fair! All of my mates—"

"Did all of your mates forget their baby sister on an airplane?!"

A disheveled woman followed by the goth teen that Douglas had bet on for Passenger Derby, and a couple security guards embark on board GERTI. The woman shrieks with relief and rushes over and takes the baby from Arthur's arms. 

"Oh God, Ava!" The mother inspects her child with care and kisses her daughter on the forehead. "I don't know what I can do to thank you," she says addressing the crew.

Mum puts on the smile she uses for all the passengers. "Rest assured madam that your child was in capable hands with us at MJN Air."

She thanks them again and then turns to leave, ushering her sulking teenage son in front of her. Arthur says goodbye to Baby-Bugga-Boo much to the woman's confusion.

"Well." Mum's shoulders visibly relax. "That's the end of that then. All wrapped up nicely. A happy ending."

"Well, Mum," Arthur carefully gestures over to the unconscious pilot on the floor. "Martin's still passed out."

Mum genuinely smiles at him. "Yes, like I said, a happy ending."


End file.
